"LEARN HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF": ANSWERS TO STUDENTS’ QUESTIONS

For a month, university students had the opportunity to anonymously ask questions to specialists from the psychological service — for this purpose, special trust boxes were installed in the academic buildings. Anyone could share their problem or ask a pressing question without signing or additional formalities. The most relevant and illustrative questions, as well as detailed answers from the psychologist, are published on the university website.

1.    “After breaking up, my boyfriend writes and calls me every day, waits for me near the building. He says he just wants to talk and get back together. But I’m scared. Is this stalking, or am I overreacting?”
If a person ignores your “no” and continues to impose contact, this is already a violation of boundaries. Stalking often begins this way: “just to talk,” “meet by chance,” “give a gift.”
It is important to understand: you are not obliged to maintain contact if you don’t want to, even if the relationship was long.
What to do:
— clearly state your position once: “I do not want to continue communication”;
— avoid emotional correspondence;
— save all messages and calls;
— inform friends or classmates so you are not alone;
— in case of threats — contact the police.
Important: From September 16, 2025, a new Article 115-1 was introduced into the Criminal Code, which provides liability for pursuing and taking actions to establish contact or track a person against their will. To initiate a criminal case against your “stalker,” contact the police. Fear is an important signal. If you feel anxious, the situation is already beyond normal limits.

2.    “In my group, they constantly make fun of me. They say it’s humor, but jokes about my appearance and accent happen almost every day. I laugh along, but inside I feel uncomfortable. Is this bullying?”
Bullying is not only open aggression. It is systematic humiliation, even if presented as a “joke.”
Key signs:
— repetition;
— imbalance of power (group vs. one person);
— your feelings — you feel hurt and uncomfortable.
Laughing “to avoid standing out” is a common defense reaction. But it does not mean you are okay with it.
What you can do:
— calmly say: “I don’t like these jokes”;
— contact a curator or psychologist;
— seek support from people who treat you respectfully.
Humor should be funny for all participants. If only others find it funny, it is not humor.

3.    “My partner asks me to send photos, demands social media passwords, and says that if I refuse, I’m hiding something. Is this love or control?”
Control is often disguised as care. Phrases like “I’m just worried,” “if you love me, prove it” can be tools of pressure.
Healthy relationships are built on trust, not checks. You are not obliged to share passwords, show messages, or prove loyalty at the expense of your personal freedom.
If a person reacts aggressively to refusal, this is a warning signal. Control can gradually intensify: from requests to prohibitions and threats.

4.    “My parents insist that I marry the person they chose. They say it is the right thing to do and that I must think about the family. I’m afraid of disappointing them. What should I do?”
Forced marriage is a form of psychological pressure, even if it comes from close ones. Marriage is only possible with voluntary consent.
Feeling guilty toward parents is natural, but it should not cost you your freedom of choice.
Recommendations:
— calmly explain your position;
— consult a psychologist to strengthen your confidence;
— find allies in your family or among trusted adults;
— in case of threats or restriction of freedom — seek legal assistance (Forced marriage is a criminal offense).
Your future is your life. Decisions about marriage cannot be made for you.

5.    **“I am dating a girl, planning to marry. To avoid extra complications and costs, we agreed that I would ‘kidnap’ her. But I heard this now brings criminal liability. Is that true?”
Indeed, Articles 125 and 125-1 of the Criminal Code provide liability for kidnapping a bride and forcing her into marriage. Both articles are very serious, with long prison terms. However, they apply only to actual bride kidnappings. If there is an agreement between you and the girl to stage the kidnapping, criminal liability does not arise.

6.    “If I am harassed online — fake profiles are made, nasty messages are sent — should I just delete my social media accounts?”
Deleting the account may temporarily reduce anxiety, but the problem does not always disappear.
What is better to do:
— save evidence (screenshots, links);
— report the accounts to the platform administration;
— restrict access to personal information;
— in case of serious threats — contact the police.
Cyberbullying is a real form of violence. You are not obliged to “endure for the sake of peace.”

7.    “Why do people who have experienced abuse often stay in relationships and justify the aggressor?”
Psychologically, this is linked to dependency, fear, hope for change, and gradual “getting used” to mistreatment. Aggression is often alternated with periods of care, and the person believes “everything will be fine.”
Isolation also plays a role: the aggressor may limit the victim’s social circle.
Important: abuse is the aggressor’s choice. Responsibility lies with them, not the victim.
Abuse is not always loud and obvious. It can be quiet — through constant messages, “innocent” jokes, pressure disguised as care or tradition.
The main guide is your feelings. If you feel fear, humiliation, or discomfort, your boundaries are being violated.
Most importantly: asking for help is not weakness. It is a step to protect yourself and your safety.